My Baby
by sapofbks2008
Summary: AN on the 1st chapter. Liz went from regular teenager to mother so fast that her heads still spinning. She's going to do it all alone, and she's going to do almost anything to keep her secret. What going to happen when the truth comes out?
1. Then it all goes to hell

**Authors Note: This story is all loaded on to the web site. All that has to be done is the final readthrough and then my posting the chapter. All the chapters will be replaced and you should probably re-read them again. There will be mistakes on this. My beta reader takes forever. I figure you want to get to the ending more than you want to perfect grammar. I would check out my profile for more information.**

**Chapter 1**

The stick clearly said that I was pregnant, but I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. I had gotten two of those new ones that just told you if you were pregnant or if you weren't so that I wouldn't allow myself to keep checking the directions and the stick to make sure that I was pregnant or just reading that damn test wrong and I had gotten a different brand to make sure that it wasn't just a screw up if the other two tests were wrong. They were all telling me that in nine months I was going to be a mother… well if I did the math right it was only seven and half, but if I thought about how much time I really had left I was going to have a panic attack. I couldn't have that right now.

I couldn't believe that this was happening to me though. I was supposed to be the good sister. The one who never screwed up, and then I turn around and get myself knocked up. I was alone and I was barely out of high school.

I allowed myself the momentary weakness, and I slid to the bathroom floor. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to alarm my Jess, who was in the next room. She would walk in and know right away what was going on by the pregnancy tests that were all over the counter. I wanted to throw up right about now, but I settled for staring into space. This couldn't be happening to me.

I remember when I had first had the suspicion that something was wrong. It was about two weeks ago when I woke up, and had the worst urge to puke up all of the dinner I had the night before. I was sick all that morning, and I stayed home for the rest of the week. I kept telling myself and the parents that I had the flu. After the first week of continuously getting sick I started to hide the fact that I couldn't keep anything down. I don't know how I did it, but I hid the fact that for twenty minutes every morning I had my head in a toilet.

I knew before I bought the tests this morning that I was going to have a baby, but this made it all the more real though. It was hard toe believe that I was on my own in this, but it was the truth. I had spent all this week feeling out the father of this child, and all he's done is given out bad vibes. I know that he's a good person otherwise I wouldn't have slept with him, but with all that's happened this year I have the strongest feeling that if I tell him about the baby that he's just going to run. Later when he thinks about this he's going to have to feel some guilt about it, but by then the damage will already have been done…. Or at least that's how it's worked in my mind.

It's just better that he doesn't know. Maybe later I'll be able to tell him about his future son or daughter, but for now I'm just going to hide all the damn evidence of my upcoming parenthood and hope that this all goes away…….

Seven and half months later…..

I wanted sleep. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted to die. I wasn't able to do any of those things. I was giving birth. I had been in labor for sixteen hours. If this kid didn't come out of me soon I was going to pull it out myself. It felt like I was being ripped apart. My room felt like something that you looked at, but were never suppose to occupy. But then again delivery rooms were never supposed to be for comfort I guess. I wanted the baby to be born at a birthing center, but my parents had nixed that idea saying that if there were complications that I would be safer in a hospital. I disagreed, but since I had disappointed them so much already I had agreed to do this in a hospital.

I wasn't comfortable with my parents being in the room so I had chosen Jessica, my sister, to be my birthing couch. God help her, because I was going to kill her.

"Come on Liz you can do this," she encouraged grabbing my hand while I pushed through a contraction.

I pushed.

"It's all going to be over soon," she said.

I glared.

"Don't look at me like that. I love you and I'm only trying to help," she defended, giving me a sisterly look.

I grabbed her hand and made sure that I had her attention while I breathed through the pain, "You are a pain in the ass," I growled, "If you want to do something right then shut up. You are not in this bed and you are not pushing a 10 pound watermelon through your _virginal area!"_

She shut up and I gave birth to a six pound five ounce bouncing baby boy, whom I named David Colin Wakefield.

After if was all over I finally got to meet the one who had been occupying my womb for nine months. It was love at first sight. I told myself then and there that I would do anything for my son to make sure that he never knew any kind of pain. After my parents had come and gone I was left with only myself, my son, and Jessica, who stubbornly refused to go away.

"He looks beautiful Liz," my sister complimented.

She cooed at the baby, "You would say something like that. You are the aunt." I grinned gently touching my baby.

I was so happy that this day was here. I was glowing. The last month has been hard on us all. I had those who were behind my decision not to tell the daddy about the baby and those who has tried to convince me that this one of my last chances to try and get a hold of him before the baby was born. I hadn't thought that was a good idea seven months ago and I didn't think that this was a good idea now. I had stood firm and I had my way.

It was going to be hard on me I knew raising my child alone, but it was better then the alternative at this point. I didn't sleep with an idiot and I didn't make a child by someone who I didn't care about and respect, but that didn't mean that I thought that he was mentally stable enough to handle a baby right now. Those who thought that I was doing something wrong by not telling the father about the baby didn't understand that I wasn't totally cold hearted.

I had tried calling the daddy and getting a feel for him, and as soon as the guy picked up the phone I got the feeling that he was going through a moment of total panic just hearing the sound of my voice. I knew that he wanted to leave his past behind him so I allowed him to make excuses for why he couldn't talk at the moment and I let him go. It was hard because I did feel like I was doing something wrong, but it did feel right too. I had constantly watched him and tried to talk to him, but he just didn't want to do it. At some point this was going to bite me in the ass, but for now, life was perfect.

Jessica did get that look in her eye though. The one that told me that what she thought I was doing was wrong. I nearly growled at her.

"Don't," I warned, "I know you're a romantic at heart, but this is my choice and I am doing the right thing."

"But-"

"Leave Conner McDermott out of this!"


	2. Are we there yet?

**Chapter 2**

5 years later

I had this feeling of impending doom as I drove to my parent's house. I don't know why I felt so overwhelmed about this visit. It might have been the fact that this was my first visit in such a long time, and almost everyone I was still in touch with was going to be there. Maybe, I was feeling this way because David had asked me no less the two dozen times if we were there yet. It might have been a lot of things. I couldn't wait to see everyone, but I had a very strong urge to just turn around and go back home

I couldn't do that of course, but it was a nice dream. I was anxious to be back because what really kept going though my mind was a very old saying, "If it isn't broke don't fix it". Things were just fine with everyone visiting me in Chicago. Did I really want to ruin all of this? I wasn't even really sure why I was here in the first place.

It hit me that I was supposed to be helping my sister out with her own newborn baby and I wanted to cry and the sheer cruelty of the world. If she just left her husband and moved her and the baby in with me and David we would not be in this situation. Damn my sister for her happiness.

"Mommy, are we there yet?" David asked _once again._

I rolled my eyes. I loved my son, but if he asked me if we were there yet one more time I was going to turn around and go back home. I had enough stress to deal with, without my son unknowingly _not_ helping the situation.

"Yes, star shine, we're almost there," I assured.

He wrinkled his nose at the nickname. He would pout for a good five minutes and I would pray to god that we got to my parents house before he started up again

"Mommy," he said two minutes later.

"No son. We are not there yet."

"Okay."

So much for that theory.

When we finally did turn into my old driveway ten minutes later I wanted to jump out of the car and run in the opposite direction. I felt so torn with my feelings. Was I really happy to be back or not? I got out of the car and went to get David out of the backseat and took him into my arms. As I was pulling him out I saw the curtains move from the inside of the house and knew that the family knew that I was home.

I walked up the driveway and the front door opened. It seemed like everyone I had ever met was there to meet me. Jessica, Angel, Tia, Mom, Dad, Steven, Sarah (Steven's wife), Megan, and Jeremy were all in the doorway to greet me. You would think a couple of them would have stayed in the kitchen. It felt like a sitcom moment. Why did they all have to greet me at once? The thought that there were more made me want to sit down. I couldn't stop the nagging feeling that my life was about to take a turn.

Jessica came up, took David from me and handed him to Jeremy and hugged the life out of me before I could even get through the door, "I missed you so much, Liz! You can't go back to Chicago. I don't like that I never get to see you," my sister whined.

"Her emotions have been all over the place. You've gotten more attention from her then I have since the baby was born two weeks ago," Jeremy teased.

I was sure that if I could see my sister's face I would see her glaring, but Jess still wouldn't let go. It was getting to the point were I couldn't breath.

"Mommy, why are do you look like that?" my son asked.

He must have noticed that my lips were tuning blue. Jeremy got his wife off me for that I was eternally grateful. The fun continued.

Tia came up to me and gave me a hug, only marginally looser then my sister's hug had been and informed me that her and Angel were going to have a baby. Angel looked like he wanted to explode with joy and Tia couldn't stand still with all her happiness. I envied them. When Angel had graduated from college he had made it perfectly clear to Tia, that he would love it if she would marry him. Tia wasted little time telling him that she would love to. It was the short version of a very long story concerning the two of them. The only thing that really matter to me was that she was happy.

I was having the time of my life catching up with family and cooing over baby pictures of my new nephew, Adam, who Jessica announced was the cutest little baby boy ever. I was asking myself why I ever doubted coming home. The one place wear I felt like I fit.

It wasn't until that I took a look at Megan that I started to feel nervous. She looked a little nervous to me.

"Megan, are you alright?" I asked.

Megan looked like she had been caught doing something, but smiled anyway, "Yeah. Sure. Perfect," she falsely reassured me and then…

She took a breath, "Well, actually no, not really. Um, how do I tell you this?"

I nodded for her to go on, "First off you have to stop off at mothers house later tonight because she wants to see David, but she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to deal with a crowd," she said nodding to everyone around her as if I didn't know that all the people that were crowded into the living room equaled to a mob of people.

It was then I noticed that all of them were silent and knew something I didn't. I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like what was going to come next.

"Secondly, Conner is coming in tomorrow on a four o'clock flight."

Of course my son was blissfully ignorant as soon as this was said, but I felt like my world had just fallen apart.


	3. to do or not to do

**Chapter 3**

I thought that I held myself together pretty well until everyone left. It was only my sister and I in the kitchen now. I had tucked David to bed twenty minutes. My parents had went up to their room awhile ago saying that they were tired and my sister was staying the night seeing as Adam and Jeremy were both passed out in her old room. It was a weird feeling knowing that Jessica was a mother now.

As soon as I knew it was safe for me to open my mouth and not let out a panicked shriek I asked my sister what I was suppose to do.

"What you need to do is calm down and think of this as a good thing. You don't have to lie any longer and you don't have to force others to lie for you," she informed.

I plopped myself down at the counter were my sister was cutting a piece of cake left over from tonight's little party, "I never said that I was going to say anything about David to Conner, Jessica."

My sister raised an eyebrow.

I let out a defeated sigh, "Oh, would you take my side on this issue for once? _Nothing_ good can come out from this. It would just upset Conner and David and it would send me to the insane asylum."

"You should have been sent there a long time ago," Jessica teased as she passed me a piece of cake.

I pushed it around my plate, but I really didn't eat anything. I felt that if I ingested something at that moment it would come right back up anyway. I had stayed away from the only place that I could call home for years and the second I come back I come home the last person I want to see…_ever _has decided to make an appearanceI had suffered for months with the knowledge that I had kept something so important from someone I had been so close too; I still had issues with that. I was so close to being bitter right now. What is the point of wasting years of your life keeping a secret when in a moment it all goes down the toilet?

"You know what you need to do?" my sister said with the air of wisdom.

I didn't roll my eyes at this one but I wanted to, "What do you think I should do?"

"I think that you should confront Conner and tell him what's going on. I think that you need to tell him about what is going on before anyone else does. He'll be a lot more forgiving if it comes from you then from someone else," my sister advised.

I finally gave up on the cake and let my head fall on the counter.

I was screwed. Mommy was screwed.

"Listen, for me this is all new. Usually I'm the one that screws up. Now you're the one who needs help. To know that I can say anything to help this situation is a nice feeling for me. I'm here for you," My sister came around and hugged me and I wanted to so much to just cry, but I didn't.

I poked her in the stomach," Are we still carrying around a little baby fat?"

"Oh, speaking from the person who gained ten pounds after she gave birth to her son," my sister retaliated.

I grinned, "Maybe I lost ten pounds after I gave birth, but I _never_ gained weight. I'm perfect, remember?" I said with a smirk.

"Maybe, in your head you think that."

I choked out a laugh and tossed a piece of cake at my sister, which she quickly took no time at all in returning. By the time we were done throwing food, we were cracking up and for the moment I forgot why I had been so upset before. Jessica gladly fixed that problem.

"Conner is going to be home around six. Megan and Mrs. Sandborn aren't going to be around so you have a couple of hours to talk to him."

"Thanks, you must have spent a lot of time thinking about this huh?" I said trying to lighten the mood.

My sister glared, but couldn't hold it in for long, "You bet I did. You're the smart one."

After that we helped each other clean up and went on to bed. I had a long day in front of me, and I wasn't looking forward to any of it.


	4. Surprise!

**Chapter 4**

After a long pep talk with myself the night before I had myself marginally calmer then I was last night when I found out that Conner was back. It still did not escape me that there was a little bit of irony involved here. The first time I come back home in who knows how long, is also the same time that Conner comes back. It was borderline cruel how the world worked.

When I went downstairs the morning of dooms day I found my sister cooking at the stove. It looked like it was suppose to be breakfast, but if I had to eat it then I wasn't going to have to be worried about facing Conner, because I was going to be trying to get over food poisoning.

"Jessica, what in gods name are you making that smells so bad," I said holding my nose together with my fingers, usually my sister made better food then this.

She looked slightly embarrassed, "The baby woke up, and I went to check on her. These are supposed to be eggs. Don't worry; I won't make you eat this batch. I wouldn't let the dog touch it," she tossed eggs down the garbage disposal.

The dog in question perked his head up to see what all the commotion was about, but didn't stay interested long and went back to napping on the floor. Our dad had found her at a shelter about a year ago and had brought her home. It was love at first site for my mother. My parents have had her ever since. Her name is Sadie, and so far from what I've seen of her she doesn't do much but lay around the house and sleep. She was really cute though. She looked like a lab/chow chow mix, but I wasn't sure.

"You're looking better today. I imagined that you would be losing you mind right about now about meeting the jackass. Then again that would be pretty hard to do since I don't think you had much of a mind in the first place, so how could you lose it?" Jess joked.

I pretended to laugh, "Does anyone find your rusty jokes funny?"

My sister glared and cracked an egg in the frying pan, "I really don't feel like smelling your next attempt at eggs," I grinned and Jess through a towel at me.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Jess said in a monotone voice.

"Seriously though Liz, are you alright?"

I grimaced, "As good as I'll ever be, I guess. It's not like I'm looking forward to telling the father of my child that I lied to him for the last five years and nine months. But I did what I thought was right, and I'm not going to apologize for something that I thought was best for everyone involved.

Even if what I did was for what I thought was best, that still didn't change that fact that it was wrong. Conner wasn't a bad guy; I just think that he was a little unstable while he was in high school. He wouldn't see this as something I did for him. He would think that I had done this to hurt him. I was getting panicky just thinking about this.

Jess gave me a comforting look, "Don't worry about this Liz. I think that it will work out for the best in the end."

I laughed with no humor, "I think you're trying to convince yourself of this as much you are me.""I am," she responded honestly.

I laughed. I knew that in the end that this would all work out because I had faith in Conner that he wouldn't do anything that would hurt his son. I couldn't say the same about me, but I had hope.

"You were so good at making me feel good before. What happened?"

"I only rehearsed so far," she joked making me choke out a laugh.

"Where are my eggs?" I demanded, and the subject was dropped for the time being.

When it was ready for me to go, I kissed my baby goodbye and wished myself luck. Jessica was still at the house and she was going to look after David while I was gone.

"Take care of my baby, Jess." I demanded right before I went out the door and to my worst fate.

The drive over to Conner's mom's house seemed to take seconds. I sat in the car for a long time just thinking about what I was going to say, and then I just gave up. It didn't matter what I had planned to say to him because I knew that the second I saw him I was going to forget about everything that I was going to say anyway. I didn't like looking at the negative of this situation but I didn't see much good coming out of this reunion either.

"I'm going to be fine," I kept repeating to myself softly.

I was so out of it that I used the key that Mrs. Sandborn had given me ages ago and walked in. I had never done it before, and I felt guilty for just walking in, but I was going to feel really stupid if I turned around and went back out the door and _then_ I rang the doorbell. It didn't take me long to find Conner. He was in the living room. He didn't notice me right away; I was guessing he hadn't heard the door.

He didn't look much different then he had over five years ago. He still had the same brown hair and the same green eyes (well I figured with his eyes). He had filled out more than he had once been. He had more distinctive features on his face too. I couldn't help but think that he still looked pretty good. He was looking at the pictures on the wall, and I almost had a heart attack when I saw that he was about to come to a picture of David.

There was no other way that I could think have to approach Conner since I was in his house so I said the first thing that came into my head, "Hi, Conner. You look the same. Long time, no see, huh?"

I wanted to repeatedly beat my head against the wall for my stupidity.

Conner jumped, "What the hell... Liz, is that you?" he said seeming somewhat peeved.

"Yep it's me, in the flesh."

_Could I sound stupider?_

Conner screwed up his face, "What are you doing here? How did you get in? You scared this shit out of me Liz," he said coming walking up to me.

I felt awkward about just walking into the house. It was weird to be around Conner after all these years, with everything that had happened. I allowed myself a couple seconds to take in my surroundings and found that not much had changed in the Sandborn household. Mrs. Sandborn had redecorated right before I had left. The room still shocked me with how white it was. I noticed that the couches were now black and that there were more pictures on the wall, but still. It didn't seem like much had changed. I really should have visited more.

"I should have knocked I know. Sorry about that," I apologized.

He looked confused, "How do you even have a key?"

"You're mother and I became close after you left. She gave me a key. I wasn't thinking when I walked in and I used it."

"Oh. Well, my mother and Sandy went out for awhile, I can tell them that you stopped by," he dismissed me by turning around.

I fought back a wave of irritation at his rudeness, "Conner I came to see you. I heard you were in town."

"We haven't talked in over six years," he pointed out.

_Oh, how wise of him to point that out, I thought sarcastically._

"Conner I came by to talk to you. We have some unfinished business that I really wanted to get cleared up,"

"Liz, I hate to tell you, but I can't see what we could have left unsaid after our last parting," he pointed out.

He had every right to be getting frustrated. I wasn't explaining myself here. I wanted to kick something.

"Um, Conner listen do you remember the last time we slept together?" I said looking anywhere but at him.

He raised an eyebrow, "Why are you bringing that up? It was a really long time ago," he pointed out.

"I didn't try hard enough, but you didn't want to listen to what I had to say. It hurt, and I realized some things and I thought it was better if I kept something from you. It's really important Conner and you have to listen to me."

He looked at me suspiciously, "You're making no sense to me. What did you keep from me, Liz?"

I looked to the floor and took a deep breath, "Your son," I whispered.

There was no sound through the whole house. When I looked at Conner he looked shocked and speechless. He also looked betrayed and hurt, and it caused me pain to know that I had made him feel that way. But ask me if I would have done it again if I could go back in time and I would waste no time saying that I would.

"I have a son and you didn't think it was important to tell me," he said, his voice cold.

I took a breath and I stood what I believed, "You weren't ready to be a father, Conner. Nothing you can say can change that," I stated calmly.

"Thank you for informing me of something like that. It's not like I would know if I was ready for fatherhood. I should have at least known that I was going to be a father Liz!" he shouted.

I came up and poked him in the chest, "Conner McDermott your still the ass you were over five years ago. You want to believe things the way you saw them. Screw the truth right?!"

"You never tried to tell me that I was fathering a child. Its six years later and I still didn't know until five minutes ago! The truth sort of speaks for itself now doesn't it," he pointed out.

It was the truth even though I didn't want to admit it, "Conner, listen I'm not going to lie to you. I don't think I would have told you about this for a long time had I the choice in the matter-"

"That's such a comfort," he remarked cutting me off.

I ignored him and went on, "but you came home. I couldn't hide anymore because I'm here and you would have heard it from someone else. I didn't want that. I didn't want to tell you know partly because I still don't think you're ready and partly because of my own selfish reasons. The important thing now is that I told you and you know. I'm not looking for a friendship here."

"How can you make any assumptions about what kind of person I am, is beyond me" he pointed out looking livid.

"How can you think for one minute that you've changed at all? You still only think of yourself."

"You were the one thinking of only yourself when you didn't tell me that you were pregnant."

"I am not going to point out that you were the one that left this place, and didn't want to hear from anyone who lived here. I called you once, in a moment of weakness. You couldn't wait to get off the phone with me. You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want your past to interfere with your future, and I let you have your wish."

"I would have hoped that you would have let me decide-"

I cut him off with a hand, "Stop repeating yourself."

"I'll do whatever the hell I want."

"Grow up."

Conner looking border line panicked, "What am I going to do?"

I went rigid, "You can do whatever you want with this information."

"You can't change the past you know. I don't regret what I did and I never will. I still think it was the right thing to do. If I had the choice I think that I still wouldn't have told you now."

"Elizabeth, I realize that you love insulting me. I know that you can't change the past, but you might have just changed my engagement with this lovely information."


	5. more than they seem

**Chapter 5**

"Well this is news," I said in surprise.

"What am I going to do?" he asked desperately, still not looking too thrilled with me.

I shrugged, "If she loves you then I don't really think there is much to worry about Conner. It's not all your fault. I was the one who didn't tell you," I pointed out.

"Like I could forget that little detail," he volleyed back, sounding bitter.

He gave me a look that told me that he thought this was all my fault but I just stood up straighter and looked him straight in the eyes, "You cannot create a child by yourself, lover boy."

I know that if a man I loved said that he had a child that he didn't even know was around until recently, sure I would be mad, but I don't think that I would break up with him though. That's a lot to give up. No man is perfect. Then again how can I really say how I would react since I've never been in this situation?

_Why did I come back to this hell hole? I thought desperately in a moment of weakness._

Conner looked like he wanted me here as much as I did. I felt a little bad for him considering I might have helped ruined his life, but I just allowed myself to not forget that this wasn't my entire fault. If he had thought about anyone but himself for at least two seconds we might not be in this situation.

In all of this I had to keep myself from forgetting that I had to do the right thing for my son, because he was the only one that mattered.

"I'm marrying Teddy in two weeks! What am I going to do," he groaned.

I rolled my eyes at this. It was just like a man to sit around and pout and not do anything, but think of themselves.

"You're really proving to me that your father material here Conner. Can you think of anyone but yourself for even two seconds?"

He looked slightly guilty, and I had a brief moment of happiness, but I couldn't ignore that I didn't feel right all of the sudden. I was trying to ignore it, but it was getting difficult. I don't know why, but suddenly I found that it was hard to breath. Why I was affected by the fact that Conner was getting married, I did not know. Did I have feelings for Conner, or did I just really pity him for falling in love and being engaged to a woman named _Teddy_.

Who in gods name names a child that? It sounds like a stripper name. Was Conner getting married to a stripper? I almost cracked up laughing over my insane thoughts, but then it hit me that I had helped Conner ruin his life and I would have to help fix it if I ever wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror ever again. This whole situation was becoming too much for me. I had to worry about my son, and now a future marriage.

"Allow me a selfish moment here Liz. What am I suppose to say to my fiancée Liz? 'Good morning, darling, you'll never guess what I found out yesterday. I'M A FATHER!"

"Calm down and shut up. I would have never kept this from you if I thought that you thought about anyone, but yourself. You are not proving to me that you changed much in these past years. This is your fault to you know. I wanted to tell you about this baby," I said my voice on the verge of cracking, "I would have told you if you had called or wrote a card. Did you do any of those though?!"

"NO!" I answered for him not waiting for an answer.

"Even when you took off I didn't get a goodbye, a kiss my ass, anything! In the months that followed I didn't get shit either. The last thing I was thinking about when I kept this new from you was myself. Take one moment and think about your son. Would you please?" I begged.

He looked like I had just kicked him. I think it was taking hold that he had helped create this situation by running away all those years ago. I wanted to feel bad for him, but that was the last emotion I felt. I was feeling a lot of things but pity for my ex-lover was not one of them. I wanted to just walk away, but I knew that I couldn't allow myself to until we had solved something.

Conner had to figure out how he was going to deal with the fact that he was a father. I on the other hand had to figure out how I was going to make this situation right for him so he didn't lose his fiancée. No matter what I told Conner or how much blame I put on him. I was still at least partly responsible for this situation that we had found ourselves in.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Liz," he admitted quietly, no evidence of his previous anger left.

I felt bad for him I really did, but I had to say it, "I understand this is tough on you Conner. I feel for you. Now I have to make the situation a little worse, because I do it so well," I joked.

"How can you make the situation any worse?"

I laughed with no humor, "By asking you if you're ready to see your son, of course."


	6. Ready Daddy?

**Chapter 6**

Conner looked like he didn't know what to say which really was alright since I wouldn't have known how to respond. My son had been all mine for a long time. It was going to be hard to have to share him if Conner wanted to be apart of his life. David had a lot of father figures, but this was going to be his real father.

"This is all surreal to me. I don't even know my own sons name," he wondered.

"It's David. His full name is David Colin Wakefield. He likes to be called David because it makes him feel older."

"Do Sandy and mom know about him?"

I nodded, "It took some convincing to keep them from telling you about the baby, but I think they realized just like I did that you wouldn't have took the news well," I said.

I laughed bitterly, "I love how everyone made assumptions about what I was ready for."

My heart went out to Conner. That had to be hard for Conner to hear. Knowing that those closest to him had lied, no matter what their intentions were.

"How did you feel when you found out that you were pregnant?" he said sounding a million miles away.

"Do you honestly want to know?" I asked.

When he nodded I told him, "I felt cheated." I said truthfully.

He looked surprised, "Conner you have to understand that even though I love our son more then the world at the time I was mad. I had spent my whole life living by the rules and then the one time that I broke them I end up pregnant. It took me a long time to find out that David was a gift. I didn't realize that until I held him he wasn't supposed to be a punishment, but something to be treasured."

I knew that Conner was surprised that I could feel resentment toward our child. I knew he thought that I always looked at the positive. It got to me a little; it made me realize that he really didn't know me. I don't think I realized how little he did know me until that minute. It made me wonder how little I knew about Conner. Had I really done the right thing by not telling him about David? I had no right to doubt myself now, but I couldn't help it.

I took pity on him, "I wouldn't worry too much about Teddy, Conner, really. If she really loved you then I don't think that this news will cause any major damage. She'll understand," I reassured.

He looked lost, "Was I really that screwed up in high school?"

I gave him a look, "You had a drinking problem, and you had to go into rehab Conner. I don't know. Do you think that you weren't screwed up in high school?"

He sighed, "I guess you had reason to doubt how I would take the news." He looked at me, "But I have to ask. If you thought I was so screwed up, why did you have a relationship with me?"

I shrugged because truthfully, it was years later and I still didn't know the answer to that. He was right; at the time I had known that he had issues.

"I liked you," I stated, "I don't know why. You didn't understand me as a person that was for sure because you were always making incorrect assumptions about me, but I was drawn to you I guess."

He slumped down on the overstuffed white love seat that was across from the couch were I was sitting. How I ended up sitting down I didn't know.

"I mad a really big mess of things."

I hesitated, "Conner I don't think that you understand that things aren't as bad as they look. I want you to know that you have a son. I want our son to meet you, but I don't want him to know who you are. Sure things are going to change, but it's not like your going to be responsible for him or anything.

He looked hurt and angry, "I take offence to that Liz. I can be a good father."

"I'm not saying that you can't be, but think about this from were I'm standing. You're not going to be a major part of his life. You're getting married. You move around a lot from what I here about you from Megan. David isn't in danger of being scared for life because he doesn't have a father. He has a lot of father figures," I pulled my hands through my hair.

"You don't understand what it's like not to have a dad. You always had one. There might be a lot of father figures in his life, but he doesn't have a real dad," he explained rather emotional about the subject.

"Conner, David has made it known that he would like to have a dad around. Yes I know that he wants to know why you aren't around, but the truth is that even if we did go to my house right now and tell David who you are, he's going to have unrealistic expectations what's going to happen."

His eyes hardened with anger, "I'll be there for him Liz," he promised.

"No you won't. You're getting married soon-"

"Two weeks. I came down here to tell the family. Teddy wants to get married here, so we're here," he cut me off.

I raised an eyebrow at his actions, but kept my mouth shut. He seemed nervous, but then I guess he had a right to be since he was getting married.

"You're not going to be a major part of his life. He can spend time with you any time you two want. After awhile he can even visit you. You can be a part of his life, but to say that your going to always be there for him isn't realistic, because you're getting married. You're going to have a life of your own," I pointed out.

He didn't say anything to that and I hoped that his silence meant that he saw my point. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and I let him think for a bit, but then I noticed that how late it was.

"Conner it's almost seven thirty. David is going to have to be in bed in about an hour. Do you want to stop by the house and see him?"

He nodded and got up. I jumped off the couch and stopped him before he could go anywhere, "You're not going to tell him who you are?"

"No, I can see what you're getting at. I won't tell him."

I sighed in relief. I wouldn't have prevented him from telling David who he was if he really felt that he had too. But it was better this way. I was convinced.

I smiled at him, "Don't worry about David, Conner. He has a lot of loving people around him. If he ever needs to talk to a male figure or anything he never has to search far. Todd is usually around al lot, and then there's Steven….." I trailed off when I noticed he tensed up on me.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just was surprised when you mentioned Todd was all. You two didn't seem too friendly toward each other during our senior year."

I turned and went to go keys so we could leave, "It was awkward for us both that year, because of the break up, but we got close again when he found out that I was pregnant. We've known each other forever. It wasn't a surprise when we finally made up. He been around a lot these past couple of years," I explained as we walked out the door.

"Are you dating him?"

"No."

Conner wanted to take separate cars, but I pointed out that he could probably hitch a ride with his sister and mother when they left the house. They were at my parents house visiting David anyway. That seemed to bug Conner, but he didn't say anything so I let it drop. I understood that he was going to weary around them for awhile. I felt guilty for involving them into this, but there wasn't much I could have done about it.

"So what have you been up to all these years?" he asked to make conversation.

"Oh, wow. Let's see. After you left I stayed in here for awhile, but then I was getting a little smothered by everyone so I decided that I would try and go to college awhile so I went to Wisconsin and went to a community college there. Don't ask why I picked Wisconsin I still can't answer that one. Anyway, I went there for about a semester, but that wasn't working out and I missed home so I came back, and I had the baby. I stayed for a couple of months, but I wasn't comfortable with that much either so I moved to Chicago we're I've been for about four and a half years.

"I want to go back to college, but right now I'm to busy so I'm working for a small magazine company right now. I don't do much, because of my limited education, but it pays well. I started out as a secretary, but someone found my work one day, and so I've been writing small articles for the BIG GOSSIP, the magazine, ever since. You can tell by the title that there not real important articles.

"Anyway, right now I'm writing a book, working, and taking care of David, but that's about it. How about you?"

He laughed, "Well not as much as you that's for sure. When I left home I went to New York, and I tried college for about a year, but that didn't really work out so I dropped out. I don't know if I plan to go back or not. Since then I've traveled a lot and just been moving around. I'm still into music so I've been working with that for awhile. That's actually how I met Teddy. She's a singer/model and I ran into her at a club. Just recently we got engaged and I came down here to tell the family."

"That's nice," I said as we pulled into the driveway.

"Okay, before we go in I want to know a little about my son."

I turned to him and saw that he was nervous, "Don't worry. You'll be fine. Let's see. What can I tell you about our son? He lives for music just like you. He looks like you. He's really shy, and he doesn't like sports."

I smiled, "He's a very good boy, and you'll fall in love with him the second you meet him," I assured, getting out of the car.

We walked up the driveway with Conner close behind me. I could feel the tension coming out of him like waves, but I didn't say anything because I was almost positive that I was having the same problem. I didn't have to think about how to introduce the two of them though because David wasted no time rushing out the door to greet me as soon as I was about to put the key in the lock. I picked him up and he hugged my neck like he was never going to let go.

"David, mommy can't breathe," I joked laughing.

"I missed you," he confessed.

"Yes I can see that."

I remembered Conner and turned to him, "Conner I would like you to meet my son David," I introduced gesturing to our son in my arms, "David I want you to meet a friend of mine, Conner."


	7. Changed

**Chapter 7**

Conner stood their like he had forgotten how to move. I didn't know what was going through his mind at that moment, but from the look on his face I could only hope that positive thoughts were going through his head.

"Conner, are you alright?" I said while continuing to hold our son in my arms.

"Hi, Mr. Conner," my son greet shyly, hiding his face in my shoulder.

David put his mouth to my ear, "Is Mr. Conner trying to act like a statue? He's not moving."

I laughed, "Mr. Conner is just uncomfortable in his surroundings is all," I explained.

"Mommy, I didn't understand a word you just said, but I'll take your word for it since you're my mommy."

"Thank you," I said with mock seriousness.

I could have played around with Conner a little lit, but I didn't think that he could handle any kind of joking around right now. He couldn't even form sentences. Not taking my eyes off of Conner, I asked David if he could go inside and tell everyone that I was back. When he went back inside I tried to snap Conner out of his trance.

"Snap out of it, would you?

"That's my son?" he said wistfully.

"The last time I checked it was yeah. I don't remember getting knocked up by anyone else," I said sarcastically.

He snapped out of it, and he grinned at that, "The last time I checked you weren't a smart ass."

"Last time I checked no one could render you speechless, times change. Don't forget that you can't swear now that you're around children," I reminded.

God, this was really happening. My world was changing and it was all hitting me to fast. Conner and his mood swings weren't helping either.

"Now what's the fun in that?" he said going back to his old self.

"Are you alright Wakefield? You look a little pale."

I was on the brink of panic, but I just sucked it in, "I'm fine," I lied.

"While we're around each other don't piss me off. Remember this is my vacation," I reminded holding on to my sanity by a string.

"Now who's using that bad language?" he taunted.

I growled and went inside the house with Conner following close behind. As soon as I walked into the kitchen I saw that my sister had went right to work on keeping David occupied. Jeremy was leaning against the counted looking bemused, and Jessica was keeping a very close eye on David who was holding her two week old son.

My jaw dropped, "Jessica, what, in gods name, are you doing?"

Jessica continued to help support David's arms, "I thought that David would want to hold his new cousin."

"Obviously not, Jess. You're scaring my son to death."

"You just jealous that he got to hold my son before you did. Hey Conner. What's up?"

"I don't know about kids, but I think your scaring him," Conner said ignoring the question.

Jeremy was shaking his head in amazement, "I can't even get my own son out of her arms, but she lets my five year old nephew hold him."

"Mommy can hold the baby really."

I watched my son struggle with my nephew a couple more seconds and then relieved him of the baby that both he and my sister were holding.

David looked at me with complete gratitude, "Go play," I told him nodding to living room.

David scampered off and I cooed down at the newborn in my arms. It had been a long time since I had held a baby as small as Adam. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I looked up and saw Conner looking at me with a strange look on his face. It took me a few moments to realize that he must be imagining me holding David when he was a baby. I was attacked with guilt, and I had to look away.

"What's that work situation?" I asked my sister.

"I'm working on it, but it's a lot harder then I thought it would be to drop everything and walk away for awhile. I was wondering if you could help me with some of my costumers."

"I came to help with the baby. You want me to work to," I said giving my sister a look.

"Yes."

"I have a lot on my plate right now. I don't need you too add more to my list."

Jessica rolled her eyes. She was about to take her son out of my arms when Jeremy came in and did that for her. When she tried to get him back he wouldn't give him to her.

"Honey," Jessica whined to her husband.

"If a five year old can hold our child then I'm allowed to."

I laughed. I also pondered on my sister's job proposal. Jessica had found her calling in college and decided that she wanted to be a wedding planner. She had worked at a small wedding dress shop all through college and now she was a partner in her own business. I didn't like the thought of working for my sister, but…. I had worked with her for a bit when I had been around in the beginning.

I had also messed around with it while I was in Chicago when she had referred me to a couple of friends. It didn't matter that I didn't have a degree. It just mattered that People really didn't care as long as I was good at it. It wasn't a dream job, but I was pondering my sister's offer because I knew there would be money involved, and that was always a nice twist.

I took the heat off Jeremy for a second, "What did you want me to do?" I asked hesitantly.

A look of confusion passed through my sister when she saw that I was looking at her, "What? ... Oh, right. I wanted to know if you would be willing to help me in this one wedding that I came across that I couldn't pass up," she said excitedly.

"What wedding would that be?"

Jessica looked around and then looked at Conner. I had a bad feeling about this all of the sudden.

"Did you tell them?" Jessica addressed to Conner.

Conner looked confused, but must have put something together, "No," he said.

Now I was confused, "What are you talking? ..."

Then the light bulb went on. She wanted me to do Conner's wedding.

"Jessica, I won't do it." I refused.

My sisters eyes lit up, "You know!"

"Jessica!"

"Liz!"

"I am so totally lost here. What is going on?" Jeremy said baffled.

"Come on Liz. Help me out here." Jess pleaded.

"Jessica what part of "no" don't you understand."

"Jeremy, where are Megan and Mrs. Sandborn?" Jessica said addressing her husband, who knowing nothing about anything, said that they were in the living room.

"Good then I won't spoil the surprise for them."

"Don't even say it, Jessica," I demanded.

"Liz, come on! You have to help my plan Conner and Teddy's wedding," she pleaded.

My sister who never listened to a word anyone said ignored my wish.

Conner, who I know, had figured out what my sister was going to ask awhile ago, still turned white. Honestly, I didn't thing my coloring was that much better either.

I hated my sister.


	8. a Work in prgress

**Chapter 8**

"Jessica, of all the low down things that you have ever done thing has got to be the lowest. WHAT were you thinking even asking me if I could plan Conner's wedding? You did it right in front of him too." I ranted as I ran a whole through the kitchen floor as I paced.

I had been on edge ever since my sister had pulled her little stunt, and now that everyone had left I was letting her have it. I was thankful that Jeremy had taken himself and his son home because I didn't think that he would like seeing his wife's MURDER.

"I don't see why this should bother you so much."

I glared, "He's the father to my son! I don't want to plan his wedding!"

Jessica laughed, "I think you have issues."

"I think you have a death wish."

""I think you still love Conner."

"I think that you need to get in the damn rental and let me drive you home before I kill you," I suggested.

I could see that my sister was pondering this for a bit, but lucky for her she saw the light and went out into the damn rental. I was pissed right now, and if she said one thing that would piss me off any more I was going to drive her off a fucking cliff. Pardon the language.

"So, are you doing the wedding?" she asked as soon as I got into the car.

I ignored her and hoped that the silence would speck for itself.

"See I knew you would do it! Teddy makes a shit load of money, not to mention her family comes from money. We'll both make a nice income off of this one"

I growled and turned the radio on full blast before I pulled out of the driveway. I was not going to do this stupid wedding!

As soon as we pulled up in front of the house I looked at my sister expectantly waiting for her to get out so I could go back to David and sleep off the rest of my day in deep depression. My sister is didn't take the hint.

"Liz, you should really do the wedding," my sister suggested again only this time in all seriousness.

"I don't want to do it, and I know you like to think otherwise, but I don't have to do everything you ask me to do," I pointed out.

"I think that this will only help you get over him."

I hit the steering wheel in frustration. "Bull! You think that this is going to have a happy ending with me being the one beside Conner. I have news for you, sister. I don't want to be with Conner!"

"I think you're lying to yourself," my sister admitted gently.

"I think that you should bite me." I suggested.

My sister was making my life hell and I didn't know if she knew it or not, but I really hoped she would get the hint. Weather or not I had feelings for Conner didn't matter. He was getting married and even though I didn't love him that didn't mean that watching him get married wouldn't hurt.

"You're doing this wedding, Liz."

"Shows how much you know."

"You're not going to let anything happen to ruin his wedding because you care for him to much to let him get hurt. I know you can't trust me. Who else are you going to choose to do his wedding?"

Nice point. Good question.

"Now I have to go. Jeremy gets nervous when he thinks he's going to have to change the baby's diaper.

Despite myself, I found myself laughing. Men were so typical.

It was seven in the morning and my son was waking my up because he was bored. I was up half the night worrying about what I was going to do with the Conner situation. I wanted sleep and I wanted it now. If only I could get my son to shut up! I loved him but at this moment if he didn't shut up soon I was going to send him to a Europe, far away from me.

"Mommy, wake up," David pleaded.

I groaned, "Let mommy sleep a bit more."

"But mommy-"

"No butt mommy's. I did get a lot of sleep and what I say goes. Either get in bed with mommy or you're going to get punished," I warned.

He didn't seem happy about it, but David did get on the bed (with help from me) and took the space beside me. I took comfort in the fact that my son was right by me, but how I wished sometimes that I wasn't always sharing a bed with the cat or sleeping with David because he had gotten a nightmare. Sometimes I wanted someone by me while I slept… in the male form.

I always dreamed about coming back home and sharing my old bed that I had grew up in with my husband. I wanted to lye by him and tell him stories about what happened when I was younger. I wanted to feel safe with a man in my arms. Instead I got companionship in the form of a cat named Whiskers or my son. I loved them both, but it wasn't enough. I drifted off not long after my son did.

I was grateful when I woke up two hours later that David was still sleeping. I needed my coffee before I would be ready for anything. I also needed to get a couple things done. When I went downstairs I found a note from mom and dad telling me that they had went over to Jess's to visit her and the baby. The house was silent with just me and a sleeping child in it. It felt like I was seventeen again.

When I was younger I was always the first one up and I usually had the house to myself for awhile until mom and dad woke up. I usually didn't see Jessica until noon and when Steven was hear I usually didn't see him at all because he was either out the door before I was up so he could get to work or he slept in so late that I was out the door before he could get up.

The clock on the stove said that it was just a little after nine so I made a cup of coffee and I lifted up the phone on the wall to call Leah, one of the Jessica's partners in her company. It only took two rings before Leah picked up the phone.

"JKZ's Bridal, how can I help you," she greeted.

"Doesn't anyone ever wonder what the Z is for?"

"Not really. When they do, we just say that we were being creative. Zack would kill us if we said anything about him. Considering he has enough money to kill us all and get away with it we follow anything he says," she explained.

Zack was the last and third partner in Jessica's boutique. He rarely mentioned much, because he didn't want anyone to know that he was part owner in a bridal planning business, but he didn't mind putting money into the company so it worked. He was involved when Jess and Leah needed him because he was a male's point of view. I always wondered how they convinced him to put his first initial on the name, because he was always so worried about what people finding out what he did on the side. I never really went into it though because I had a feeling it wasn't something I wanted to know.

The only reason that Zack was even involved in the whole bridal thing was because at the time Jessica and Leah were planning to open up the business, Leah was dating Zack. My sister and Leah started planning and they realized that they didn't have enough money to go very far with the company. So Leah asked Zack if he could be a partner, and she was successful. I never understood why Zack didn't just loan the money out, but I had a feeling he actually liked to do stuff like planning weddings. I did, however, know the story on how Leah convinced Zack to help her out and it wasn't a story that I ever wanted to hear again. In that case there had been way too much information in that little story.

Actually, when Zack and Leah had been dating Leah didn't hold any part of her sex life back. Sadly even though they had broken up she still was that way, because she liked bragging when she was getting good sex. Lord help us all. There was a reason that I never got close to her. Part jealousy and partly because I just didn't want to know.

"I called because I need to know if you're willing to help me out on something."

"It depends on what you need help on. If you're looking for a guy-"

"I'm not," I lied.

I was looking for a guy. I just didn't want Leah looking for a guy for me. If I wanted a one night stand then she was the first one I was going to go too, to find a guy. Otherwise I would work on that problem on my own.

"Oh."

"I need help because Jess wants me to plan a wedding for her, and I don't want to do it. On the other hand I don't want Jess to do it either. I need your help."

"You know I'm booked Liz."

"Well I really can't do this wedding, and I don't trust Jessica anywhere near it. It's Conner's, something I'm sure you heard about-"

"The second Jess found out about it," she interrupted.

"So you can see my problem?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah," she agreed, "I do see your problem."

My hoped rose, "But I can help you," she went on crashing them again.

"Can't you do anything?"

"I can advise you to plan this wedding."

"I don't want to!" I complained.

"I may be older then the both of you, but I always thought that you were more mature then both Jess and I and on many occasions Zack. Grow up and do what you have to do. This will help you move on."

_I have moved on, I thought._ I didn't bother to say it though because it was pointless. Everyone thought that I still had feelings for Conner and I didn't think that would change soon.

"You've known Jess since the both of you went to Sweet Valley. Can't you understand that I can't do this, but my sister, being the way she is, can't be trusted?"

"If you won't do it for yourself then do it for the son. If you don't feel comfortable enough to plan his wedding then you have to feel something for him. Since, it looks like he's going to be a part of your sons life wouldn't it help if you didn't love him like that."

After trying a couple more times to get her to come up with something and failing badly I hung up. I planned to work on my sister later. I knew that I wasn't really being myself by having such a problem with this, but _really _he was the father to my child! I was not going to plan Conner's wedding! No way in hell.


	9. Control

**Chapter 9**

My sister, not being able to mind her own business, had gotten me into the mess that I was in now. I had made a sworn promise that when I finished planning this wedding I was going to cause her bodily harm. I was walking into this whole thing blind. I didn't know what Conner's fiancée knew about me or if she knew anything about me. What happened if Conner had told her what our situation was? What then? I spent most of my life avoiding complications like this, and here I was walking into one great big mess.

It had taken my sister two days to get me to crack and plan this wedding. I still don't know what processed me to give in, but I figured it was the fact that this wedding was going to be planned by one of us and it might as well be me, because my sister was acting like psycho sister bitch at the moment. When she had her mind on something she acted on her instincts and her instincts sucked. It was one of the reasons that we had gotten in to so much trouble when we were younger.

I was holding our first meeting in my sister's office since I figured that this would be a better setting for a murder. I don't know what I would do if I were in Teddy's situation, but I figured I wouldn't be thrilled with the news that my fiancé fathered a baby by someone else. I didn't know Conner's fiancée so who knew how she would react to meeting me… Saying I wasn't comfortable with this would be a vast understatement.

Maybe I would luck out and she wouldn't want me to plan her wedding.

This office was like something out of a nightmare. There was no mistaking that this was my sister's office because the whole thing was in pink. You name it and it was in some shade of pink. The desk was a more classic great big wood desk, but there was a light finish to it and the finish was pink as well. Her _computer_ was pink. Zach had told me when he had stopped by the office that her office was the talk of the building. This theme was the longest one to last. I had a feeling that the computer didn't go with any other color scheme.

I was sitting at her desk feeling overwhelmed and lost, not to mention sickened by the fact that I was stuck in this office, when Teddy walked in. She was alone thank god. As soon as I saw her I knew why Conner had picked her. I didn't know about her personality, but her looks were like something out of a fashion magazine. She was blonde with delicate looks and she was stacked. I could see what had caught Conner's eye. I had thought he had a little more depth then to pick a bimbo, but what did I know? Maybe she was really smart.

"Hi, you must be Ms. Daniels," I held out my hand for her to take which she did.

"Hi, you must be Jessica; I've heard so many things about you." Teddy gushed.

I sighed, "I'm so sorry Ms. Daniel's but my sister wasn't able to be here today. She just had a baby and she's gotten a little ahead of herself. I'm Elizabeth Wakefield. I must warn you that I am not as well known as Jessica, but I do know what I'm doing. I would have told you-"

Teddy smiled and held up a hand to stop me, "I really don't mind. Planning a big fancy wedding isn't really something that I hold on the top of the list, but my parents insisted that I do something… You sister was on the cover of Wedding Planner magazine and I called her. I am well aware that some strings were pulled to get me in at such short notice. I really don't mind. As long as you know what you're doing then it's okay with me."

I was glad that she didn't seem to be the spoiled brat that I thought she would be. I was also glad that she could be so accommodating with me planning her wedding. How she would have reacted to me planning her wedding if she knew who the hell I was?…. Now that was a different story. It shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did to know that Conner hadn't changed as much as I had hoped he had.

I sat back down at Jess's hideous pink desk and looked at some papers, "With all the information sheets we have on all your likes and dislikes I shouldn't have to bother you to much with details, but I will have to go through you to confirm everything. We don't have a lot of time so we are going to have to meet every couple of days and I am going to need a number to get a hold of you at all times so we can make this go a little smoother."

When I looked up she was nodding in agreement and I went on to explain my overall plan of what I wanted to do. She didn't disagree with anything, and for that I was glad. The next time I looked at the clock I saw that we had gone over our hour. When I pointed this out, and I apologized Teddy didn't seem to upset and told me that she could stay if it would help at all since she didn't have anything else planned. Since it made my life easier and she wasn't at all hard to deal with I agreed.

"If you don't mind staying and working longer then would you mind if we took a break for lunch."

Teddy laughed, "I thought you would never ask."

I smiled, "Okay, we could eat here or we could go down stairs and go to one of the restaurants around here."

"Can we just order our food here? I really don't want to go into a restaurant. People seem to recognize me and then tend to get in the way," she looked embarrassed.

It hit me that people would recognize her because of her father. She wasn't the most famous person in the world, but she had her pictures in the papers a couple of times. While I had been with her this last hour and half I found it easy to forget that she was a young rich woman, because she didn't act like it. Conner and found a good match for himself. He was going to screw it up though if he wasn't honest with her. Hell, he was going to screw it up with _me_ if he wasn't honest with her.

I was already picking up the phone, "What do you want?"

"I really don't care as long as it's food. A pizza wouldn't be too bad, but get half with nothing on it if you could."

I said that pizza wouldn't be a problem and I ordered it, "It will be here in about an hour."

She sighed and leaned back in her chair, "I just noticed that you look a lot like your sister."

I laughed, "I should. I'm here identical twin."

"That must have been fun," she grinned.

I knew what she was talking about, "It still is. We still have fun tricking her husband. He's pretty good at telling us apart, but he's still working on telling us apart from a distance."

She laughed and we screwed planning the wedding for awhile and we just talked. I talked about what life was like growing up with Jessica. Teddy talked about growing up with all that money. We bonded a little in the hour and when the pizza came we talked all through that. We were just getting back down to business when Conner called Teddy. She told him where she was and she said that if he wanted to he could come to the meeting. I knew he didn't want to be here, but he agreed anyway. Teddy told me that he would be here in about ten minutes. After that things got more down to business.

When Conner walked in he looked shocked the first second he saw me. I was surprised that he was one of the few who could tell my sister and I apart even from a distance. He must have thought that I had talked my sister, or someone else to plan the wedding. He looked worried until it became obvious that Teddy had no idea who I was. Then he calmed down only enough to put on a front that there was nothing wrong. I might have missed if I didn't know that I was looking for something.

"So how many people to you plan to invite?"

Teddy groaned, "My parents want me to invite way too many people. _I'm _thinking maybe 50, but if my parents get there way then there will be close to 200."

I ignored Conner's shocked look at how many people could be in attendance and thought about this, "So we need somewhere that's going to hold a lot of people if we need it. I'm thinking something outside. That way it's easy to work with a larger number of people. I do need to know how many people will for sure be coming though within two days though. Wedding invitations have to be made and sent out, food has to be ordered, I need a number of chairs and tables, the list goes on," I said making notes.

"Is there going to be any problems with guests and the short notice on the wedding? Sending people invitations for a wedding two weeks before… I'm pushing it if I can get them out so soon. We have 16 days. Do you want to maybe push back the wedding a little?" I suggested.

Teddy was already shaking her head, "Two weeks is all the time I have. Traveling gets crazy around this time for me. I have to do it now during my break while I still have time. I work at my parents company. To get somewhere I have to work twice as hard. Not to mention that the more time I spend planning this wedding is a risk because it means more time for my parents to come in and change it all to there liking."

The planning went longer and longer and Conner became more involved as time went on because some things he really disagreed on. All three of us spent hours working on all of the details on the wedding. It wasn't normally how planning a wedding worked, but there was a lot to plan in two weeks and since all of us seemed to have nothing pressing to do it worked out. I had prepared a lot before hand so I had a lot of samples of things to show them and portfolios and what not.

Just as we were about to go on three and half hours the phone rang.

"Hello, JKZ's Bridal. Elizabeth speaking," I greeted.

"Mommy!" my son squealed into the phone.

I rolled my eyes, "David your not suppose to use the phone," I admonished.

"Uncle Todd fell asleep and I gots bored."

"I'm working right now. You shouldn't be using the phone. There's not a whole lot I can do for you. Wake Uncle Todd up and put him on the phone if you could."

I heard David put the phone down and a second later a groggy came over the line, "Hello."

"Todd," I growled.

I held up one hand to Teddy and Conner. I got up from my desk and went outside my sister's office so I could talk to Todd in private.

"I don't really mind that you fell asleep on my son. I'm amazed that you were able to really, but can you please not leave my number around so he can just pick up the phone and call. He's old enough to uses a phone you know."

"I'm sorry Liz. He was asleep on the couch when I went to lie down. I figured that I would hear him when he woke up. I really didn't plan to fall asleep really."

I told him not to let David use the phone again and ended the call. I went back into my sister's hell whole. I figured that now was as good as any to put an end to this meeting. I could tell that Todd really wanted to go home and pass out and I knew that David would be calling again soon in boredom. I wasn't going to get much more work done today.

"Okay," I said as soon as I stepped into the office, "My son is getting bored of the babysitter. He's already worn him out. I need to get going. I'm not hard to get a hold of so if you have any questions or you need me for anything I'll most likely be available."

"I really can't complain. We worked for over three hours. We got a lot done," Teddy said being compliant.

I nodded and we all got ready to go. For the first time in the two hours that Conner had been here I looked into his eyes. What I saw there was regret, but I couldn't allow myself to feel any pity for him, because he was the one digging himself in this whole. Teddy had surprised me and she was really one of a kind. He was hurting her by not telling her about anything that was going on. It pissed me off even more when I thought about it. I looked back with cold, unfeeling eyes and said goodbye to the both of him.

If Conner McDermott was looking for sympathy, he was going to have to look somewhere else.


	10. the talk

**Chapter 10**

Teddy and I talked as we rode down the elevator to the lobby, and I couldn't resist liking her more by the second. She earned a lot of brownie points every time she asked about David. She seemed to really like kids and I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to start a family right away. I wondered if Teddy had talked to Conner about starting a family. I wondered how he reacted. The more I thought about it the more it twisted my gut to think about it so I tried to stop myself from going on in my train of thought. I really didn't want to think about why it bothered my so much to think about Conner having a family with someone else.

But still I couldn't help but wonder if he knew that he would be a good father if he tried. I had a feeling that he didn't have a lot of faith when it came to him being a good dad.

It was a little awkward to be talking about my son with Conner so close, but if Teddy was going to ask then I couldn't bring myself to not say something. I loved David to much to not talk about him, and gush about what he had done the day before.

"So I'll see you tomorrow," I said as the doors opened and we walked out.

"Yeah, I guess you will." she said and turned slowly to Conner and brought him closed to her.

"I'll see you later?" she said seductively.

Conner kissed her lightly, "Yes you will."

She seemed lost in him for a second and then her phone rang, she let him go reluctantly, and she rushed off as she talked who was ever on the other line. The woman was prime proof that looks could be deceiving. She looked like an air head, but she was a lot smarter then she looked.

Conner and I were alone now. I didn't like that fact and I tried very hard to rush off before I had to talk to him, because right now I was really pissed off. If Conner pushed me right now it would only make things worse.

"Liz," he barked.

He shattered any hope I had of getting out of there without having a confrontation. He was asking for a fight I badly wanted.

"Conner, I don't want to talk to you. I'm not happy with you right now."

"I know and I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Conner I know that this is a lot to handle for you right now. I know that you're confused, but you should have told her! I'm planning your wedding dammit! I need you to grow up and stop thinking about yourself. I need you to think about our son."

"Don't you think I have?! He's all I can think about!"

"You haven't changed Conner and that disappoints me, but it doesn't surprise me. We had sex together. I didn't get myself pregnant. Deal with this before you do something that you regret," I warned.

"You can't threaten me,"

"I love my son more then anything in the world Conner. I will do anything for him. I am not going to willingly hurt him. If I allow you to see him it's because I know your not going to hurt him. If you sneak around trying to see my son because you can't bring yourself to tell your wife about him you can be sure that I'm going to bring that to a stop."

"I'm his father! I have rights."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want Conner."

"Yes, you are David's father," I agreed, "But I'm his mother. I held him when he cried. I took care of him when he was sick. I care about him like no one else does. You have to prove to me that you can be the father you need to be and then I'll be happy. I will not allow you to hurt him."

"I'm doing to the best I can!" he defended.

"Tell her!"

"I will do anything for my son. I will keep him away from you. When I leave if you still haven't told Teddy about David then you can kiss seeing your son goodbye. You need to be responsible to do the right thing. You have someone who is going to look up to you; he's going to depend on you…."

"You can't prevent me from seeing him."

I finally started walking toward my car with Conner on my heels. I turned to him, "You're going to have to take me to court to see David if you don't tell her. I'm being generous here and allowing you to see him while I'm here even if you don't tell Teddy the whole truth. Tell Teddy before I really get fed up. Stop being a coward and act like a man."

"Either way you look at it Conner, Teddy is still going to find out about our son. I honestly don't believe that you're just going to walk away. I don't hate you Conner, but if you hurt that woman and my son you're going to accomplish that goal."

With that said I got into my car and drove off before he could say anything else. Now time would only tell if he had really changed. I prayed to god that he had.


	11. round 1

**Chapter 11**

After my fight with Conner I concentrated fully around Teddy's wedding. Now that Conner knew about David I wanted everyone to know. Then at the same time I didn't want to say anything because it would make the situation more real. I didn't want to hide my son anymore. It seemed wrong for Conner to know about David and not tell Teddy about him. I wanted to tell Teddy what was going on. I also knew it wasn't my place to say anything. I wanted to so bad though… I was so conflicted at the moment that the only thing that really made sense was Teddy's wedding.

After a couple of days had passed I couldn't take it anymore. I was sitting at the kitchen table looking at the guest list and I had this sudden urge to see Teddy and tell her everything. I felt like I was doing the right this up until she opened the door. When I was facing her I found myself at a loss for words. I had come here prepared to do something that I had no business in. Just by looking at Teddy I knew that telling her about David would be the wrong thing to do. Teddy shouldn't hear about Conner's son from me.

Teddy was confused by my visit it. She was looking at me and I could see the questions in her expression. Today we were supposed to be taking a day off. She obviously hadn't planned on company because for the first time I saw her in jeans and a white tank top. I had a feeling that Teddy was the kind of person who was always dressed to the nines around others.

"Liz. Hi. What are you doing here?"

I thought fast, "I was just in the area and I figured that if you wanted to we could do lunch," I lied.

She tilted her head like she really didn't get something and then she broke out in a smile, "Sure."

"Okay," Now that I had gotten this far I didn't know what to do after that.

"Why don't you come in and I can get dressed and then we can go out."

I relaxed a little, because even though I hadn't planned to come over here for lunch this was working out. "Okay."

"I really didn't expect this. Conner told me awhile ago that you guys had dated for awhile. I wasn't totally shocked because you seemed to have a past, but I thought that we being friends would be awkward for you when I found out."

I tried not to act to shocked at the news that Conner had told her that we had dated. I figured that after our argument he had avoided any discussion any discussion about me like the plague. I was also shocked that Teddy seemed to figure out on her own that Conner and I had a past. I knew we had been sort of obvious about it… but I had figured that it would just go over her head. Her name seemed to give me images of a blonde bimbo.

I gave a reluctant grin, "I've gotten over it. I don't see why we can't try and be friends." I said not telling the whole truth, something that I was getting to good at.

She turned and went into the bedroom and changed. Just by her room you could tell she had money. She didn't have a room that had two double beds and a desk with a tiny bathroom. Teddy had a big room that had a main room, a bathroom to die for, and a bedroom with had a king size bed that looked like it was heaven to sleep on. She came out a couple of minutes later and like I predicted she was dressed up. It wasn't anything much, but she was wearing tan pants and a red silk blouse. It made me feel underdressed in my jean shorts and pink tank top.

She grabbed her purse, "I'm really glad we're doing this. I really like you."

"I really like you too. I hate to tell you this, but when I first heard about you… I pictured someone different," I admitted.

"You pictured a big breasted bimbo," she guessed with a sparkling grin as we walked out the door.

"You really don't hold anything back." I laughed "Yeah, I pictured the blonde, big breasted bimbo. I usually don't make judgments, but your name just brings to mind…"

"I know. You don't have to tell me. I still don't know what my parents were thinking when they named me Teddy. I think they had to be smoking something. It's really hard to be taken seriously with a name like mine."

From her hotel to the new restaurant in town we kept thinking of things to talk about. I really found that there wasn't anything I couldn't talk about with her. I found myself forgetting that I should dislike her. I thought it would be hard to get to know her because if everything went right she was going to be around David. I thought I would spend too much time being worried that she would take my place as a mother, but it was hard to hate someone who didn't have a mean bone in her body.

"I really didn't know what to think when I met Conner. I mean he wasn't usually my type. I had seen him hanging around other women who looked like they didn't have anything in there head but air so when he started to flirt with me I was sort of surprised."

I laughed despite myself because even though I hadn't been around Conner in years I was not the least bit surprised to here that, "Yeah that sounds like Conner. He always goes for looks first. In honesty though it's not too hard to imagine why he would go after you."

She snickered, "I knew that he was more interested in my chest size when he asked me out. I was just surprised that he kept going out with me after he found out how committed I liked to be in my relationships."

When we were seated we spent a couple of minutes going over the menu. It gave me time to think about what was happening to my blossoming friendship with Teddy. Our friendship was beginning with lies. It made me feel crappy when I thought about it.

"It's so disappointing how males always go for what's on the outside first. Divorce ratings would go down if men were smarter."

The waiter came and took our order. When he went the other way I really looked at the restaurant for the first time. It had been around for a couple of months, I knew but since I had been here I hadn't had the time to check it out. It was really nice. The floors were a deep red carpet and the walls were a dark wood covered with expensive paintings. It really didn't fit in this small town. I was surprised that everything was priced so low.

"So how did you start dating Conner?" she asked.

I gave her a look that told her I knew what she was thinking. "I know that I don't fit Conner's bill. His girlfriend before me was a model at one time."

She looked worried, "If I sounded surprised it wasn't because I thought you weren't pretty enough but you sort of… I don't know," she seemed at a loss for what she was trying to say.

"I scream commitment I know. I also know that it doesn't matter that I'm not ugly. I Know I wasn't Conner's type. I guess all that really changed when I walked in on him in the shower."

"Oh my God!"

I knew I misled her a bit, by that so I went through the whole story how I ended up living with him and his family for awhile, and how things sort of developed. Even though things didn't turn out with a happy ending I still liked telling the story because no matter how things turned out I still had a fun time while I was living with him, for the most part at least. It was an interesting time in my life.

The waiter brought our food over, and it let me think.

"You love Conner don't you?"

She looked up from her meal and gave me a surprised laugh, "Of course I do."

"No matter what happens, don't allow anything to get in the way of that," I said cryptically.

We ate our meal in silence and when we finished I excused myself and went home to spend time with my son.

It was around two in the afternoon the next day when the doorbell rang. It was silent in the house because everyone had gone out and I was elbow deep in cooking supplies because I was making a cake. It was Jeremy's birthday and I was having pity on the man by making the cake instead of letting my sister take a go at it. I loved her dearly, but if Jess invested in some cooking classes it would probably make for a safer world.

When I went to the door and opened it Conner was on the other side. I was so surprised to see him that it took me a second to realize that he was mad. He was really, _really_ mad.

"What's wrong?" I asked cautiously

"What did you tell Teddy?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Last night she was asking questions about us. She was acting weird the whole night. Somehow she got the idea in my head that I was hiding something and she wanted to know what it was."

"Why would she ever think that you were doing something like that?" I said sarcastically.

He let himself in the house and slammed the door behind him, "You had no right to talk to her!" he shouted.

I stood there shocked, "I didn't tell her anything! I came over to her hotel yesterday and yes I admit I was going to say something! But I didn't."

"I should have been able to tell her about our son in my own time" he accused.

The man had some nerve, "You should have told her right away! You shouldn't have been hiding something so important from her."

"Just because things don't go at your pace doesn't mean that you have to push them until they go your way. I was going to tell her!"

"You did. Get over it."

"We had a fight. She complained that I didn't trust her, and we had it out. I'm in the dog house for the time being."

"She could have dumped you…. No, wait she should have dumped you. You're about to marry the woman. You're supposed to trust her enough to tell her anything."

Conner glared, "Like you trusted me to do the right thing."

The guy had some nerve, "I don't know you anymore Conner," I defended, "I don't know shit about what your morals are like."

I knew that I was more at fault then I was making it sound. I knew that I could have screwed up royally. I still didn't Conner was fair to blame this all on me though.

"There is no question that you should have stayed out of it. I'm still so pissed Liz… She's important to me. I care about her, and you could have made me lose her because you couldn't keep your nose out of my business."

"My son is _always _my business," I said coldly.

Conner looked ready to pull his hair out, "You have to stop making me always sound like the bad guy. You expected me to know what to do as soon as you told me about David. Things can't always turn out your way Liz."

"You're getting married to a woman who has no idea what she's getting into. I get worried-"

He cut me off, "You should have let me have time. You keep waiting for me to screw up. I'm happy Liz! Stop trying to screw that up!"

The stung, "I'm worried about our son."

He came right in my face, "I love our son. I would never do anything to hurt him. I was not keeping David from Teddy so I could hurt him. I was keeping him from people because I wanted to get a handle on the situation. I needed -"

"You need to start thinking about David! You say you love him and yet you sure don't act like it"

"That was low. Even for you. Things can't always be about you."

He didn't say anything after that. He just left.


	12. round 2

**Chapter 12**

Conner and I weren't talking. I was to busy to do much but plan Teddy's wedding and Conner was just being stubborn, so our argument was continuously being unresolved. Teddy and Conner were coming over and spending time with David more and more now though. Since, Teddy and I had to work on the wedding it was the perfect way for Conner to bond with David while we worked. Conner and I had our moments where I thought we might resolve something, but then it always passed because Conner always saw a confrontation coming and got out of it faster then I could blink. It was amazing how little the man had changed and how much he was the same guy.

I was mad at him and he was mad at me and it looked like it was going to stay that way for awhile. It really didn't bother me _too much_, or so I was busy telling myself. Everything had been on track until Teddy's mother had come into town. That woman liked control and she knew how to get it. Teddy had warned me that there was likely to be some major changes, but neither she nor I had any idea what this woman would want out of this wedding.

She invited almost 700 people to the wedding, which meant that although out location was okay, we had to rent a hell of a lot more chairs. She didn't like the cake and so we got another cake which was perfect since it had to be a hell of a lot bigger anyway. She didn't like the location of the wedding but on that she was dealing with it there weren't a whole lot of places in Sweet Valley that worked for a big wedding. We needed more food, chairs, decorations, invitations, tables, place cards, and so much more. I almost pulled my hair out, and had to call in help because it had gotten so bad. I hated Teddy's mother more then life itself.

It was three in the morning and we were still working. I was sure that we all would have went nuts if the wedding hadn't been pushed back, but all those people had to have time to plan to fly out here and so Teddy had allowed us to change the date. We now had a month to plan this big wedding. I don't think Teddy liked any of this at all, but she wasn't saying anything so I kept my mouth shut. We liked each other but I didn't know her well enough to comment on it. It also gave Conner more time to spend with his son. The more time they spent together the more time I had to think about what was going to happen after we left.

Right now I had Jess, Leah, and surprisingly Zack, all at the table. All of us had taken more time out of our schedule to do this. If it hadn't been so personal and there hadn't been so much money involved I would have quit a long time ago.

"I want to know how a small wedding turned into something so…." Zack could find the words.

I wrote out another invitation, "It's something that you would find in a circus. I feel for Teddy. If she wanted a small wedding she's not getting one now."

This was supposed to be _her_ dream wedding. NOT her mothers.

"Well, it's not too late," my sister reminded.

I glared, "I sympathize for her, but I still sympathize for me more. We're all sitting around a table writing out invitations so they can get out tomorrow because Mrs. Carman decided that we needed to give all these people enough time to make it to her daughters wedding."

"Well, we are making a bundle," Zach reminded.

"You already have a bundle of money. You don't need any more."

"It's still nice to know that we're getting paid for all the work that we're doing."

"There is not enough money to forgive that Jess had to be here instead of with her husband." Even though Zack always looked at the bright side of things I knew that no matter how much he was hiding it, he was pissed to.

Teddy's mother, Mrs. Carmen, treated us like we had nothing else better to do then to plan her daughters wedding. She treated us like the hired help and flung money around like that would get her anything she wanted. The sad thing was it was true because I hadn't seen a case were that woman didn't get anything. We were all surrounded in dining room writing out seven hundred invitations because we all had families to feed. I was pissed.

Zack was pissed because he wasn't the hired help, and he didn't need the money. I knew it pissed him off when Teddy's mother made a crack about he would know class if it bit him in the ass because he wasn't around enough of it. It was amusing to see Zack's face turn colors when the woman pissed him off.

We worked all through the night and most of the morning, but we got the invitations out and sent by 11:30 in the morning. I couldn't watch David today because I was ready to fall over and everyone else had something to do today so I had to call Teddy and see if she wanted to watch David. She picked him up around twelve and I passed out before she left the driveway. I knew Teddy felt guilty about all the work she was making us do. It was in her eyes when she came and picked David up.

Teddy knew that we had been up all night because she had been there when her mother had made the announcement about those damn invitations. But I knew I wasn't giving Teddy enough credit, even if she wasn't feeling guilty, she would have taken David without a complaint. Teddy wasn't just taking David because she felt guilty, she was taking him because she cared about him, and that mattered to me.

I woke up three hours later with a pounding headache. I had just enough sleep that I didn't feel like I was going to pass out, but I didn't have enough that my body was pissed about being up. Sadly, I wasn't going to allow myself to sleep all day. I went into the kitchen and my mother was there making coffee. I took the cup she offered and sank into the chair.

"I thought you had work," I said, my voice still thick with sleep.

"I came home around lunch hour and found you passed out on the couch. I figured I would take a day off and see if you needed anything. You're really are working to hard."

"There's enough money involved that no one is going to say anything. I have help so it's not so bad."

Mom sighed. "Yeah, I know that, but I also know that you have enough problems that you have enough problems to deal with. You don't need to add anything to it."

I knew that my mother was talking about Conner because she always brought him up. She was the only one who had _never_ agreed with my decision to not tell Conner about the baby. She had respected my wishes and hadn't said anything to him but the cost had been a great big dent in our relationship because she was always giving me looks and reminding me that I was making a mistake. I was beginning to strongly dislike my mother and her constant meddling.

"Mother, I'm handling it," I growled.

"You are not."

"How dare you!"

"How long has it been since you've talked to Conner," she argued.

She had me there and I knew it. I didn't respond and I sat there and though about it. I would never agree with her out loud, but she was right. I wasn't handling it. I had been telling myself that I was too busy; dealing with the wedding, to deal with Conner, but the truth was that I was avoiding him. I was doing it because I didn't want to share David with anyone so I was going to hold on to my anger for as long as I could, because as long as I thought Conner was doing something wrong I allowed myself the comfort that he was a bad father for David.

I felt like a bad person when I realized what I was doing. I got up as soon as I finished my coffee. I didn't tell my mother where I was going because even though she was right I still wasn't happy with her. It was none of her business were I was going. It was three hours later when I went up to Mrs. Sandborn's house. All the lights were on so I knew that everyone was there. I didn't relish the idea of having another fight with Conner while David was in the house. I knew he was there because Teddy still had him and when she was watching him you knew that Conner was close by. He wouldn't watch David alone until he thought he knew enough to trust himself,

I knew that he would be fine with David, but that was my logical thinking. I hadn't had a dad like Conner's. I knew that Conner didn't trust himself to know how to be a good enough father. I had more respect in him because he was willing to try.

When I walked up to the house and rang the doorbell no one answered so I used my key. When I walked into the living room I saw that Conner and Teddy were playing with David on the floor. They were so caught up in there game of Charades that they didn't even notice me. I watched for awhile while Conner and Teddy played.

Conner and Teddy were so good with David that it made me worried that I might be replaced. I mean, I was just a mother and Conner and Teddy had the full family package. What if David started to like them better then me? I couldn't be there for him all the time because I had to spend too much time working, and when I was off work, we really didn't much because there really wasn't a lot of money to spare to do fun stuff. With all of Teddy's money they could do anything that David wanted.

By the time I stopped worrying enough to take a breath everyone had noticed my presence. David was running to me to get into my arms and Conner was looking at me worriedly.

I blinked against a couple of tears that I hadn't noticed before and sunk down on to the floor, "Come to mommy David."

He ran to me and I put my arms around him and hugged him so tight that he began to squirm in my arms. I let him go and told him to go back to Teddy, because I had to talk to Conner for awhile. As soon as David was back with Conner's fiancée I turned to him.

He got uncomfortable then, "We were in the middle of a game."

Both Teddy and I glared at him, "Now!" we both said at the same time.

It was like pulling teeth but I lead him upstairs were be wouldn't be bothered and I went straight into the room that once used to be mine. I would have gone into his, but that room held too many memories. It was hard to go in a room with you ex when you had sex in there.

I looked around the room and found that even years later it was the same room. For awhile it almost felt like I was seventeen again. When I turned, I crashed back into reality and faced an older Conner. He was looking at me like he knew why I had picked this room. I hated that he had figured it out because now I felt awkward.

"We need to talk."

"I figured that's what you called me in here for."

"Listen, Conner I'm sorry that I hinted around to Teddy about David, but I really couldn't help it. I was thinking about myself when I did that and it could have turned out really bad if I had done it the wrong way."

"You could have screwed up if you did it right," he pointed out sarcastically.

He was right and I knew it, "I'm sorry."

"I understand why you did it," he said slowly as if he had a hard time admitting that.

I raised a brow. "Don't look at me like that Liz. I know that I was wrong too. I should have told her sooner and I didn't. I don't know if she would even know now if you hadn't come in. Even though you should have waited it probably worked out better this way."

I was so surprised that he had admitted that that I had a hard time saying anything. Conner and I had spent so much time apart and he was showing me so many new sides to him that I was having a hard time keeping up. The Conner I had known would not have admitted that. Feelings started to come up that I quickly stopped. I knew that he wasn't the only one that changed. It was bothering me that he kept throwing curve balls and he kept calm. It pissed me off slightly.

"Now for the next thing I came here for."

He looked worried. "I want to give you this first," I said handing him a tape.

"What is this?"

I sat on the bed, "It's a copy of a tape of my pregnancy. From the moment I found out and until I moved away. There was always someone with a camera in my face and with all the hours they collected they put together a best moment's thing. I know that it bugs you that you missed so much so I'm giving that to you. When I get home I'll send you more, but that's all I had with me."

"His birth is on there too."

I said that more to get the look on his face then anything. He had an emotional moment. I knew he would hate it if he knew that he was cracking so I had helped. It had the effect I wanted because he was looking at the tape a little more warily now. I laughed at the look on his face. It's like getting something new on a menu and not knowing what it's going to taste like. You want to know, but you're really not sure.

"Don't worry. You'll have Teddy to hold on to. I have a whole tape at home that had my labor and the birth on it so I can use it as birth control on him later. When he sees that he'll think before he acts I'm sure."

He turned a little green, "I don't even want to know."

I laughed, "Now for the third thing I came here for," I handed him an envelope.

"What's this," he said looking even more worried.

"I'm getting a kick out of this," I was delighted. "Open it up."

Slowly, he opened the envelope and when he looked inside he got a whole new look on his face.


	13. does it ever end?

**Chapter 13**

Conner looked at me with pure shock, "These are custody papers."

I winced. Did he have to say that so bluntly? "They are joint custody papers. I talked to my lawyer on the phone earlier and had him write those up."

"We're going to have to tell David who I am," he said sounding dazed and amazed.

Conner looked like he loved the idea and he terrified by it at the same time. I guess he didn't want to see how David would react to the news that Conner was his father. I could feel his pain because I didn't want to know either. Our reasons were for two different reasons I was sure. Conner was worried that David would hate him and I was worried that David would love him more then his mother. I didn't kid myself into believing that I could give him a better home, because I didn't have money like Teddy did and I didn't have Conner sense of adventure.

"Conner, I never told David anything negative about you. He's at that age where he does wonder and I never let him think that you're a bad person. I just let him believe that you're misunderstood. He knows you're a good person. At this age he'll just be happy to have a dad."

What I didn't say was that while David would be thankful to have Conner there was a chance that he would hate me. He was young, but he was smart to. I didn't think David would hate me for keeping his father from him, but you never know. He could hate me. I didn't like that idea.

"He could hate me."

Well at least we were thinking around the same lines. I was honest, "He could turn around and hate me. I just don't know how he'll take the news Conner, but we'll find out soon enough."

Conner went behind my old desk and sat down. I looked around the room again. It was the same color walls, the same bed, the desk was the same. The only thing that was really different was the bedspread. Now it was a plane purple when before it had flowers on it. I sat in this room and it was like reliving the past. I had gone into that bathroom door and I walked in on Conner showering. I sat at that desk and wrote Conner's name one thousand times while he played his guitar for hours on end.

I was curious, "Do you still play the guitar?"

He shook his head, "Not really. Once in awhile but I've sort of grown out of it. Before I met Teddy I didn't have the time because every time I moved I had to get like three jobs just to pay the rent and I didn't have time and now I have other things to do."

I smiled wistfully, "It sucks to grow up."

"Do you still write?"

I could have sworn that I told him, "Yeah, I work as a columnist for a small magazine and I write for the town paper a bit."

"I know that. I want to know if you really write."

"No. I don't have the time. I spend most of my time taking care of David and the other half working. This has actually been my first vacation in a long time," I explained.

"It's strange how much things change. I never would have thought that I would give up music but I barely think about it any more."

I resented Conner for saying that. He made it sound like we had both given up the things we loved because of the hardships in life and the truth was that I had given up writing stories because I didn't have time to breathe much less write and he had just gotten bored with it. He could have done something with his music because he had talent, but he just didn't have the passion for it. I could understand that, but I was still mad at him and it wasn't his fault. I was just pissed that he would be spending time with my son doing all the things with him that I wanted to do and I would be at home working my ass off.

"You have that look on your face again."

"Why do you get to do things with my son and I have to work all of the time."

Conner looked confused, "What?"

"I want to do things with him and I can't. You can give him anything. He's going to love you more then me. I'm going to be a bad mother. I am a bad mother. I don't want to share him. I carried him for nine months and watched him grow up and now you'll be his favorite."

"For the life of me I will never understand women," Conner looked exasperated.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You're mad at me for something I haven't even done yet. Something, I would never do by the way. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"He's going to love you more then me!" I whined.

Conner came over and hugged me. It felt nice and I had to try really hard not to sink into that hug because I liked it more then I should have and I didn't want to let him go even though I know that I was a bad person to even be thinking these things because he was going to be getting married soon. Oh god, he was going to be getting married. I stepped back so fast that I almost tripped.

"Liz, I am not going to take your son away from you. He's going to love you just as much as before I came into the picture."

I wished I could believe him but I couldn't but I ignored it anyway because it wasn't Conner's fault if his son liked him more then he did me. That was just something that I was going to have to get over.

"We should go out there and tell him now. The longer we wait the worse it's going to be," I was resigned.

Conner looked at me with an expression that I couldn't read, "Come on then. Let's go tell him the news."

We sat David down and we told him what was going on. We didn't go into a lot of detail, but he understood that Conner was his dad and that Conner wanted to be a part of his life. To my obvious relief, he didn't hate me. He loved the idea that he had a dad and that the rest he really didn't mind. I almost sagged against the couch.

"So I have a dad now?" David repeated again.

I gave him a true smile, "Yeah, he's your dad."

"That's so cool!"

Conner looked like he was on top of the world and I was happy for him. I would miss seeing Conner turn red in the face every time David called him Uncle Conner, but I wasn't mad at any longer. I figured I would get a bigger kick out of seeing his face light up every time David called him Dad.

I knew that the moment that we told David the whole truth that everything would change. That still scared that crap out of me, but it was okay to because I knew that even though I might not always like it, David would love having a father there. He needed that. Even though this wasn't the normal way of doing things I knew that it would work out.

Later the night when everyone was either gone or sleeping, Conner and I stayed back and talked about what we were going to do about custody. I knew that most of this would be done through lawyers, but we didn't want any surprises because we didn't want any fights over David so we were planning this out first. It was not as easy as I thought it would be.

"Why do you get Christmas? I want to share the holidays with my son," Conner said looking at the dates that I had written down.

I sighed. "You get Thanksgiving and Easter."

"I want to spend our first Christmas together."

I glared because this was getting old really fast, "I know that this is going to be hard for you, but if you really want to spend Christmas with him you're going to have to come to us. I already am going to spend Thanksgiving and Easter alone, give me a break Conner."

He suddenly had nothing to say to that and looked a little guilty, "I didn't think of that I'm sorry."

I ignored the apology and went back to the list of date that we had both made, "We can't switch off homes every year. Even if it did work for us it wouldn't work for David. He would never be able to have roots anywhere," I disputed when I saw that was what Conner wanted to do.

"Your right, I didn't think of that."

"I figure you can get Easter vacation and part of Christmas vacation and then half of summer," I negotiated.

"Half of the summer," he acted as if I had slid that in.

I had about had it with all the planning and the fighting. I leaned back against the kitchen chair and closed my eyes for a second, "You have to stop thinking of this as a war. I am not trying to keep you from him. All I'm saying is that he should have a little time after school lets out and before he goes back so he can have time with his friends. He's going to have two sets of friends Conner," I reminded him.

"Okay. I can see your point. So he comes at the end of June and comes back in the middle of August."

I got up and got a cup of coffee, "Yeah."

"You mentioned rules on here."

The hard thing about working with Conner was that he didn't think like a parent yet. Everything that was obvious to me wasn't to him because he had never had to worry about things like this. It was making this a very long process. I knew that he would get the handle of it and I had faith in him, but right now I wanted to kill him, because he had no idea what he was doing, he was slowing killing me. I wanted sleep.

"We can't have two sets of rules. I can't say that he has to go to bed at one hour and you can't turn around and change that. He'll not only get confused but eventually he'll start rebelling against the idea-"

Conner sighed and stopped me before I could go on. He got the idea. Did this all have to be done in one night? No. We're we doing it? Yes. I still wasn't really sure why, but I think it had something to with the fact that if we did it now we didn't have to put it off later. With my planning Teddy's wedding we could let go of time and then we would be in hell when it came to plan this through our lawyers.

In the end it was another night with no sleep.

"I think this might actually work." I said sinking into my chair.

"Do you plan to check out the bottom of the table?" Conner was amused.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was literally sliding off my chair. I laughed and got up, "I'm so out of it."

"We both are."

"I really hope that the next time I do this, I do it right."

"Do you plan to get knocked up again?" he said again amused.

I laughed, I could have taken that wrong but at this point I was just to tired to care, "No, but I do want more kids."

"You'll find someone," he assured as he cleared up the papers and I got up and cleaned up the coffee cups.

"I hope your right."

"You're an amazing women Liz. You won't have a shortage of men waiting for you," he flattered.

I laughed, "That lack of sleep is really getting to you."

"It's true."

"For my sake I hope it is. I'm going to have more kids."

"Can you do that without a guy?"

Men never saw the bigger picture, "Artificial insemination," I simply said.

We both looked at each other and broke out laughing.

As we both cleaned up I couldn't help noticing the small things on Conner, like how he had filled out in the past years or how his jeans showed off his butt. Through his black t-shirt I could see that he had a six pack under there. I couldn't believe that I was checking out a taken man, but I was only human and it had been a very _very _long time. I could look at him. I just couldn't touch.


	14. wicked witch of the west

**Chapter 14**

Conner and David continued to bond, slowly but surely my panic started to subside, and I was able to watch Conner and David without feeling an overwhelming sense of panic. I would have loved it even more if we could spend more time together as a family, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. This "small wedding" was turning out to be more than any of us could handle. Teddy's father had come into the picture now and he was as bad, if not worse, than his wife. Not to mention, they had found out about David and they were constantly trying to butt in where they weren't wanted there now too. The only good thing I had to say about them was that they didn't resent David for any reason and treated him as their own. I think I would have handled that better if I didn't think that they wanted to make them one of their own. I was constantly on the look out to make sure they stayed in line.

Conner and I were working out our own problems. We had finally had it out and decided that the past was in the past and it couldn't be changed. What mattered now was the future and how we were going to work things out. We were building a friendship up again and custody was almost all figured out. Conner and Teddy were even thinking about moving to Chicago so that they could be closer to David. I was thrilled at the idea. It meant more help. Todd was staying in the background for the time being and for that I was grateful. I loved Todd like a brother, but he didn't think of me like a sister. Usually, I could ignore it but I could tell he was hurt that he was going to be replaced a little, because Conner was in the picture again. To get into those issues… I didn't even want to think about it.

I was figuring out where to put seven hundred people when Conner walked through mom's kitchen door with David on his shoulders. My breath caught and I couldn't stop the smile that broke out on my face at the two of them. You would never have guessed that they been apart for years with the way they were acting now.

"Dad, put me down. I want to hug mommy."

I loved when David did stuff like that because it made me feel like I was still wanted. David was put down and he ran to me. When he ran off to play with his toys, I wanted to call him back. Anything, to get out of the tedious work I had in front of me.

Conner took a water bottle out of the fridge. "So what's up Liz? You look ready to kill. I'm getting rather used to the look."

I gave him a smirk, "You should come over here and help me figure out where to put all of these people. After all, they're going to be family after this week."

Conner looked horrified, "I wouldn't know how to help Liz, and I'm not any good at this stuff."

"You really need to get rid of those people. Your future mother-in-law wants to turn the wedding into a big major event of the year, and your future father-in-law, wants it written about in all of the papers. Do you know that man asked me if I could write about the wedding and have it show up in the papers in Chicago?"

Conner turned a little green. I knew he didn't like to be the center of attention, "Don't tell me stuff like that, Liz. I don't like knowing."

"Mrs. Carman gave me notes on everything. I could write a book on the seating arrangements alone with all the details she wrote down. Everyone hates one another. If I put someone at a table and next to someone they like I find out that those people don't like anyone else at the table."

Conner looked lost. "Yeah, well I share the feeling buddy. I have no idea what I'm going to do with this. Jessica is constantly leaking because she keeps forgetting to pump and she's not getting any sleep. Zack is throwing things, and Leah is looking like she wants to jump Zack. I don't understand how the last one worked out, but she's the only one who seems to have her head with her."

"Why don't you have her do the seating arrangement's then?" he suggested as if it were that easy.

"She's doing the seating for the reception and she's having a harder time than I am. She has to seat tables. I just have to make sure that people aren't going to sit next to someone they don't like."

Conner looked so relieved that he didn't have to do any of it that I started looking for a knife to stab him with. I grabbed a chair instead and Put it next to me, "Whether you like it or not. You're helping. I have to get this done by tonight so I can start writing out the place cards."

"Don't they have people that do that?"

"Not when you do this all at the last minute. They have a lot of money, but people just don't care enough to suck up to them. No one has the time to do it."

We spent the next three hours working on where to put everyone. After the third call from Mrs. Carman, I turned off the phone and let it go to voicemail. She would call someone else when I didn't pick up. I had enough to handle. It was tedious work and I was getting a migraine.

"I don't see why we can't put Chelsea and Samantha together, they don't hate one another."

"Samantha is dating Chelsea's little sister's ex-boyfriend. It would never work out that's why. Tally is going to sit by her big sister and that means she's going to argue with her ex. We can't have that."

"Isn't there a program that could do this?"

"If there is, we don't have it. Plus, Mrs. Carman wants actual people to find out where these people sit."

"Well, we have one side of the family finished."

"Your side doesn't count Conner. As long as we make sure you mom and her ex-boyfriends don't sit next to one another, then we're good to go."

And so the work continued. When Teddy came over because no one was picking up the phone, we made her help to. It took us most of the day but we figured it out. And then I passed out from too much work. I forgot that this was supposed to be my vacation of sorts.

The shit really hit the fan when I really needed to help out Jess with the baby. Adam wasn't sleeping and Jeremy was about to have a meltdown. Instead of spending the whole night working, we stayed up taking turns walking around with Adam, to try and calm him down. Then dawn came and Mrs. Carman started calling for updates, and she didn't stop. At seven we had to take Adam to the emergency room because he had a fever of 101.1 and we all panicked. It turned out to only be an ear infection, but when Teddy's mother called for the fourth time that morning, I cracked.

"Honey, I know that family comes first but the wedding is in four days, and we really have a lot of work to do. You should have called someone to take the child to the doctor. I really can't tell you how important it is to get all of this done. My Teddy needs her day to be perfect," and on and on it went.

What I really wanted to say was, "Listen, you old hag. Shut the fuck up. Mind your own business, and let us do the work that we know how to do. I've had it with you. I quit."

Since it was Conner's wedding and I owed him, I said, "I understand your concern, but I assure you that we have everything under control, and everything will be perfect for your daughter's wedding.

We worked double time after that, and we had to call in even more people to help out so that we could get the work done. Adam's fever went away, but he was still distressed and Jessica was even worse. In the end neither of us did a lot of work for the wedding in the end and we just supervised. We let co-workers and friends do everything that needed doing and took care of what was really important.

I called the paper and made sure that I still had a job to get back to when I got home to Chicago and they assured me that everything was fine. My boss said I needed the vacation and he wasn't going to punish me for being gone a month. It was a miracle, and it would have been even better if this was actually a vacation.

Somewhere in the middle of it all I finally admitted that I still had feelings for Conner and that I was really jealous of Teddy, but I was too busy to act on anything. I was too feel or to think. I was relieved that I didn't have the time to grieve over something that wasn't mine. I don't know how I even figured it out since I didn't even get any time with Conner either. I was working all the time. I was more stressed out then I had been when I came back to Sweet Valley.


	15. one wrong move

**Chapter 15**

I got to sleep the night before the wedding. It felt like the first night's I had been able to have in forever and I was more than enjoying it when my cell phone started ringing. I seriously thought about tossing it across the room before I gave in and picked it up. The only reason I had kept it on was because I knew that my sister might call needing help with the baby and I wanted to be there for her. It was why I had come home in the first place and I had barley been there for her.

When I looked at the caller ID, it didn't say that my sister was calling but that Teddy was calling me, and that was weird because she hardly ever called me for anything. While I was planning her wedding, I wasn't dealing with her most of the time. I was dealing with her mother, and even more confusing was it was 4 in the morning. If there was anything important that needed to be done then it wasn't going to get done tonight.

I finally picked up the phone. "Hello," I slurred sleepily.

I heard Teddy cry through the phone, and I was jolted awake by the sound, "What's wrong?"

"I called the wedding off."

That one really god me up, "You did what!" I shouted.

She repeated herself, "I couldn't go through with it Liz. I care about Conner and I want to get married and have a family but I don't think I'm ready for all of this. I mean, look at what the wedding turned into. I'm 22 years old and I still let my parents push me around. What kind of wife would I make?"

I couldn't believe this, "Teddy, you aren't thinking, you're just nervous because you're getting married in a couple of hours."

Teddy let out another sob, "I'm not ready for all of this. I'm not ready to be a mother to David anymore then I'm ready to be a wife to Conner."

I wouldn't let my personal feelings overshadow that I had to do the right thing so I continued to try and change her mind, but the more I tried to convince her that she was doing the wrong thing by letting panic rule her emotions, the more she became convinced that she was doing the right thing for once in her life. It got me angry and left me shocked, but by the time I finally got off the phone with Teddy, I realized that while I had been planning her wedding, Teddy had been slowly losing her nerve and was looking for a way to get out. I had no idea what was going on, but she told me not to worry about it. That everything was being taken care of. She finally hung up and I finally admitted to myself that I once again wasn't going to get any sleep.

With the sun, came the phone calls. I got the first one from Teddy's mother, who blamed this whole mess on me, and told me she was going to sue. Next, Jess's phone call was made to congratulate me on my good luck. She told me that not that Conner was free, I could have him. I knew that she was joking, and I took it in good humor. I needed it. I had to make a lot of phone calls, and make sure that everything was cancelled, and then it rained.

I was in the middle of eating a salad and working through my phone when Conner walked into the kitchen looking better than one would think one would look after being dumped. I got off the phone and gave him a hug, "I'm so sorry Conner."

"I should have known that this wasn't what she wanted, but I was too busy getting used to being a father and making sure that we got custody settled to do anything else. I was supposed to know her better than anyone else and I missed it," Conner went over to the kitchen table and took out a chair to fall into.

I went over to my place at the counter and let him think while I made a couple more calls. David slept over at Tia's for the night so I didn't have to worry about him. She called and asked if I wanted her to take him for another night so I could get a little break and I took it. As much as I loved David, I needed rest more than anything.

I was in the middle of making another call when Conner spoke. "I didn't love her like I should have," he admitted.

I rose and eyebrow and almost spit out my coffee, and I let him continue. "I loved her because I had grown to love her I guess, but I knew there was something missing. I know I sound like a sap, but I had to say it."

I was shocked that he was telling me this, "Why were you going to marry her if you didn't love her?"

"She reminded me of you a little. Teddy was someone I could talk to, and I was attracted to her and I figured that was more then I could hope to get with my track record. I wanted a family. I wanted to get married, and we were working out."

"When she came to me and told me she wasn't ready to do this. I didn't know what to think at first. I was mad in the beginning and there was a lot of yelling to start out with, but then she opened up and I listened. We worked through it and decided that it wasn't going to work and the right to do was to call off the wedding. Then we called her mother who…"

"Blamed the whole thing on me," I interrupted. "She called me this morning."

He winced, "Sorry about that."

I shrugged and didn't let my emotions show. "I had a part in this I won't deny that."

Conner finally looked at me then. He really looked at me and I wanted to look anywhere but at him. "I would have never called it off because I had feelings for you. I do and I realized that awhile ago, but I never back down from a promise, I did enough of that when I was in high school. Life isn't perfect and it doesn't work out the way you always wanted it too, so if she had wanted to get married I would have gone through with today, but that doesn't mean that I wished I could have done things a little differently in the past."

Conner was saying all the right things and I wanted to jump into his arms and never let go, but since this was real life and not some romance novel I stayed where I was and didn't let my emotions get into this.

"I love you Conner," I admitted bluntly.

He started to say something and a butted in, "The problem with that is that I can't handle a relationship right now. I don't know what I want any more then you do. I said that I wanted more kids, but not now. I can't even decide if I like living in Chicago or not. I don't know what school David's going to go to when summer is over. I don't know a lot of things that I should. I'm lost, and the last thing I need is a serious committed relationship right now."

"I think that we could make this work if we tried hard enough," Conner told me bluntly.

I had to give it to him. He wasn't seducing me into making the "right" decision. "I think that if we actually lived in a fictional world then it would work out to, but we're different people Conner, and right now your barely out of an engagement and I have so much stress right now, I'm about to see a psychologist. I need time."

He looked at me and for the first time I could see how much he had grown up. He didn't totally agree, but I knew that he would give me the space that I needed because he wanted it to work and that told me more than any words could. It told me that sometime down the road it just might work out. Maybe not next week, or next year, but when we were both ready to do this our feelings would still be there and we would both be ready for it.

Two months had passed since the almost wedding of the year and things were a little better. Conner had decided that it was time to make a change and he moved to Chicago to be close to David. David loved having his father so close and loved spending time with him. I loved the breaks that I got from being a mom. For a long time that had been all I had been and I liked having a couple days to myself once in awhile. I loved David more than itself and I always missed him, but I liked my freedom.

Conner wasn't dating anyone, but I was putting myself out there. I still loved Conner, and I felt that the time was coming when we would start something up again, but for the moment I was looking for something lighthearted. I wasn't looking for a serious relationship or anything. I was just looking for a night out. I never slept with any of them, and Conner was always more than willing to watch David for me while I went out.

I was nice to watch the colors he changed in whenever he ran across my dates. It was all in good fun, as crazy as that sounded and I got a kick of him getting so jealous over the guys that came to pick me up. Conner knew that this was something that I had to do and he wasn't going to stop me but he wasn't going to like it either.

I was going to make a good wife someday; I was just waiting for the right time. Right now I was just having fun being a little more carefree and not so serious. I was enjoying it too.


End file.
